Today I woke up with a strong urge to splatter words all over something. A strong urge to tell a story! I don’t know what that story is or what I need to do, all I know is that there is something hiding right behind my tongue that is shyly inching forward ready to seize the day.
A few weeks back, I had a baby boy. It has revolutionized my life. This kind of change has picked up every piece of life I had in order, thrown it on the ground, kicked it around a bit, and then bent down, gathered all the pieces, and carefully restructured a life that is way better than I could ever imagine! With all this good there have also been pains.
Why the pain?
Why is the pain an essential element in procreation? Whether it be pregnancy pains, the intensity of childbirth, the recovery, the emotional roller coasters, the sleepless nights every bit has an element of pain. As I thought this the following experience from my mission kept coming to mind.
The door chimed as we skipped through, surprised we were the only customers. The smell of frozen yogurt matched the cotton candy walls and sugar stained tables! Piling high every topping, and hearing the door chime over and over, the employee spotted our name tags. We introduced ourselves and asked a few questions to prompt a quick gospel discussion. I glanced back with a sigh of relief, realizing the crowd we had beat to the front of the line. Once I turned back to the conversation the guy’s voice suddenly snapped. The walls turned pale dissolving all sweetness.
“Why would a loving God design a plan that required the sacrifice of His child. If He had all power, why would he make it so people would treat His Son so poorly? Why would He make His Son go through all that suffering?” Guy Froyo continued, “If you had a son, would you make such a plan and then call yourself loving?” My companion spoke to Christ’s love as my mind trailed off puzzled by the man’s question. How am I supposed to address him? We are on such opposite brain waves. I see one act as loving as he sees it as manipulative and cruel. The way he puts it does make God sound cruel, but I know God. He isn’t cruel. But why the suffering? God is all-powerful. God is loving. Seeing my confusion and lack of rebuttal he laughed and returned to his first point, “If there was such a God, he would remove all pain, struggle, sorrow, and negativity if he really loved us.” I glanced at the line of people stacked up, eagerly waiting for our response. Their stares stole back my earlier sigh of relief and turned it into a heaping pile of worry. The man handed back our contact card and went to help the next customer. Sticking the plastic spoon inside our cold, half-melted froyo bowls, we walked away. The door’s chime losing it’s chipper ding as we exited into the rainy streets of the city.
Thinking on this experience, I have to admit that there have been times where I have had similar thoughts. Why is this so hard? If God wants me to get to “D” then why doesn’t he make “A”, “B”, and “C” a breeze? If God wants us to procreate, why doesn’t he make it easier! Why doesn’t he take away the pain or struggle?
Is it so we rely on Him? That seems a little manipulative; I am going to give you pain, so then you have to come unto me. That doesn’t sound like a God who respects our agency. But maybe I misunderstand. This thought doesn’t sound all right. What do you guys think?
Maybe it’s part of our learning? If so, why did God require that everything has its opposite? If I believe in God’s plan and trust that God is the God I believe Him to be – which is a good, honest, loving God – then I want to understand the power behind each part of his plan.
Is there power in pain? If so, what is the power? When I landed at this question I felt an overwhelming sense of love. Is love the only power that can endure and overcome pain?
After realizing this I saw gaps in guy froyo’s accusations of God. He painted a picture of a God who delighted in having pain be part of His plan. He alluded to a God who lacked love. He believed there to be no God because if there was one, then nothing bad would ever happen.
I’ve believed in that God before. I have. In the hardest trials of my life I have had the creeping thoughts, If God really loved you, why did he let these bad things occur! If you were really his daughter, why wouldn’t he protect you as any good father would?
I wish so badly that I could go back to that conversation with guy froyo for two different reasons.
First, because I think I could answer a little better than I did. It feels like one of those small fights you have where the other guy got the last word and then five minutes later you think of your comeback and wanna do-over! Ha!
The second reason is that I really wish I would’ve shown the guy some love. He deserved to feel heard. I could be way off base, but maybe he was in some pain. I mean the only times I have doubted my beliefs was when I was hurting and things weren’t adding up like they used to.
Those hard times are not when I needed knowledge spit at me. Instead, I needed someone to sit down by me and show me the mercy I wasn’t seeing from the God I once knew. I needed friends to surround me and lift me in ways I couldn’t lift myself. I needed to be loved by someone because they saw who I was trying to become rather than what I was right then. Luckily in my time of need, people showed up. God sent those angels.
Their love got me through my pain.
So thank you, good people and dare I say thank you, pain. Thanks for being part of my life, because man! I don’t know what I would do without the love I have in my life. Love from God, from friends, for my baby boy, for my family. Love has really become a priceless antidote for the hard times in life.
Hope you have a great day and feel the love that’s out there! It makes it all worth it!
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