One Hellish Wish
By Rikki Brase
Anger grabbed my tongue and
Made madness with its strong tones
It lied and told my friends it's fine,
preserving pride in these bones
Furry whips me back and cries
for Strength to come through answers
but all that really comes is
a bunch of petty banters
Why am I to blame when I was stripped of my existence, then told my choices weren't my own
instead, his dirty wishes.
Hatred grabs my heart and shouts
Revenge for every douche bag!
Throw them all in hell and
Tell the guards to feed them shit rags
I ain't gonna let down
I ain't gonna cry
I ain't gonna walk away
Or let holstered hatred fly
These fools deserve pain, misery, justice
What do they get?
Free bodies that lurk
waiting for the easy, next hit
We can't stop em now. Their crime ain't enough.
Instead we sit in silence dreaming of cuffs
It ain't gonna happen,
They practice what they do.
So all I can say is, "I'm a victim, too."
I remember sitting across from my therapist and being told there probably isn’t enough evidence to convict.
That was… maddening.
Then she continued, “but there is enough evidence to me that what you went through was hard and painful and very real. That’s what I’m here to help you through,” she said.
Trauma therapy helped me immensely. It wasn’t merely validation. It was hard work, lots of processing, and learning different coping mechanisms and healing techniques. All difficult, but entirely worth it!
I just knew I didn’t want to feel mad, hurt, and scared forever. Those were my true wishes.
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