Asking For a Friend
Q: If God is Real, Why Does He Make it so Hard for People to Hear Him?
– This question was submitted anonymously by someone like you! –
There have only been a few times in my life where I’ve felt unable to hear God. The first was when I started facing my trauma head on. That was scary, difficult, and lonely. I remember it was like my body was put into a frozen state. I couldn’t feel happy or sad. I was numb. It made it really hard to hear my own voice, let alone God’s.
The other time was on my mission. I am not even sure I wasn’t hearing God, but His voice was very unclear. I felt like I was doing everything I should be doing, but there was a thick wall between me and God.
I remember wondering where God was. I asked why God wasn’t talking to me anymore. This feeling of abandonment or betrayal by Heavenly Father creates anger, frustration, and often leads to questions like this: If God is real, why does He make it so hard for people to hear Him. In order to get an answer, I had to reframe the question into a four part question that lent more to belief rather than doubt:
Part 1: What misconceptions do I have about God?
I have had to clarify the difference between the God I create and the God spoken of in the scriptures. Being human, I often create these expectations for God. It’s almost as if I say, In order to be God, you have to answer my prayers now. In order to be God, you should never let me feel alone. In order to be God, you should keep bad things from happening in everyone’s life. That is the God I have created, an incorrect interpretation of who God is. I have to work to learn what is really true. For that, I go to the scriptures.
Part 2: Who is God, our Eternal Father?
The God I have gotten to know is very loving, generous, and forgiving. In the same breath, he sets a high bar, requesting much of our time, our energy, and our resources. He asks us to rely on Him for strength. He asks us to prioritize Him above all else. He listens when we turn to Him. He guides us throughout each day, even when we don’t notice it. He stands by so many of His children, even when they only show Him their back.
Part 3: How can I best learn God’s voice?
For me, the most effective way is to remember a moment when I felt the closest to God. This might look like a moment where I felt a lot of peace, a time where I did something inherently good and felt content, or a time where I was inspired or guided toward progress.
When I returned home from my mission, my mom got us tickets to a conference called Time Out for Women. We went and listened to this man tell his story. I can’t even remember his name right now. Oh, I know it! It was Michael McLean. He told of a long, hard spiritual drought he endured. It lasted 9 years! I remember the shock settling in as I stared at the stage in disbelief.
I was sitting next to my mom and sisters. I felt so out of place without the missionary tag on but sitting in this room, gleaning from this man’s faith was the first time the Spirit had matched that of the Spirit I felt on my mission. This man, Michael, he wasn’t speaking to anyone but me that day. I stared at him, wondering why this moment felt like a moment I would never forget. His words were etched into my soul. I haven’t ever had an experience quite like it.
He told us that at his worst moment, he sat in his car, with his head on the steering wheel, feeling completely abandoned by God.
He felt completely and utterly alone.
It was that rock bottom that brought him to a decision – most rock bottoms have that effect – he said he had to decide what he was going to do. Was he going to abandon God, the way he felt abandoned or was he going to keep the promises he had covenanted to keep?
It was that day, I wrote in my journal that I was going to keep my promises NO MATTER WHAT.
I was going to keep them like this man kept his – no matter if I’m feeling it, no matter if I’m angry, no matter if I’m tired. I am here because even if God doesn’t keep His end of the deal, I know what I am going to do. I will pray. I will read scriptures. I will serve. I will go to church. I will not stop serving God. That kind of conviction was something no man could have given me. Why would I commit to something or someone that seemingly has the potential to abandon me? Someone I can’t be sure of? Someone that demands so much of me? It’s doesn’t seem logical.
Yet, I’d say that unwavering devotion to God is the soundest decision and commitment anyone could ever make.
When going through the thick of PTSD (years after this commitment), I couldn’t hear God easily, if at all. I also couldn’t feel. I was “frozen,” as my therapist would say. That was one of the most confusing times. I ached to feel things, I knew things weren’t normal. I knew I needed further guidance. I knew I needed hope. But I wasn’t getting it. But, get this! When I got to my darkest days where I couldn’t feel Him, my brain didn’t go there; I never once considered God didn’t exist. I questioned about everything else about Him and myself, and found out some pretty great stuff later on. Those days when I prayed to God and heard no response, it trained my mind to patiently endure trials. I was keeping my promises that I had previously made no matter what.
I was relying on prior spiritual moments where without a doubt, & before the drought I felt something.
Part 4: Is getting to know God worth the effort?
The devil will work endlessly to make every child of God believe that their Heavenly Father does not exist, that He has abandoned them, wronged them, or doesn’t want to hear from them because of their unworthiness. It is his entire aim to feed you these lies and tell you there is no point in trying to have a relationship with Him. I have heard these lies come into my mind; they have felt terrifyingly convincing at times. How do you just avoid or ignore the devil? I don’t know, I haven’t mastered that one.
Thankfully though, I have had the amazing opportunity to be raised in a home where God was spoken of often. My mom was incredible at relating God to every day life, and helping us see that He is in the details. I cannot fully appreciate the worth of that growing-up environment, but what I can say is that God is real.
I have had so many experiences in my life where God swoops in and saves the day. Other times where He sits with me and holds my heart. I’ve had times where He has held my frail spirit and nursed it back to life. He has reprimanded me with the most genuine love. I have even had moments where He has gone silent & I’ve had to just wait. Every single one of these experiences have come with a challenge. Every relationship takes work.
What I’ve found is that God is worth fighting the darkest of demons to find, that’s for sure!
Thanks so much for sending in such an honest question! I hope you keep searching and find the answer God wants to give.
Have a great weekend, friends!
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