Asking For a Friend
Q: Why after we have done everything we are supposed to do – we are following promptings and everything- are we still waiting and struggling and wondering?
– This question was submitted anonymously by someone like you! –
Today I came across this quote, and I have totally mixed emotions about it. Let me know what ya’ll think, too!
Even in the midst of unique trials and challenges, we are truly blessed!”
The Great Plan – April 2020
I like the sound of this statement, but I recall times where days were too dark to really feel such a blessing. Without telling all the background of the weight I was to hold in those times, I will say this – every person I have really gotten to know has had a time in their life like mine. Experiences that bring them to a feeling of powerlessness – A “This is not getting better, will it ever get better?” state of mind. Another way to explain it might be a mindset undesirably fixated on the problem because no solution has worked. This mindset in its most extreme state leaves little room for hopeful thoughts like “I am truly blessed”.
In fact, when hearing such a thought, it just ticked me off.
Blessed with what?
I don’t feel like myself, life feels out of control, what I want so badly and work so hard for doesn’t seem any closer today than it did months ago, and no one understands my situation or wants to hear what’s going on because its too much for them. The thought of it being too much for them put me inside another lonely corner because due to their inability to listen to the problems I was actually experiencing I stood silent. I stopped connecting.
I am not entirely sure why I feel like sharing this today, considering it’s not the normal motivational story every person wants to wake up to, but I feel like as I am writing today I am fighting to understand something deeper that I haven’t quite grasped before. Maybe its this concept of blessed.
“Blessed” gives the connotation that there was something gifted to someone for a specific reason – often this is used in gospel sense regarding blessings from God. So why don’t I feel blessed in the midst of trials? Why when I am doing right, fighting with everything I have to live the day, and wishing with every fiber of my being that I could see a silver lining – why am I left feeling defective rather than unconditionally blessed?
My wise elders would probably say to me in that moment to focus on gratitude, to hone in on the little pieces of good. I’ve put this to the test and it does lighten the mood. It makes me recognize the good, even though that practice feels like a massive chore when in the thick of things.
One time, I heard a story of a man that joined The Church of Jesus Christ and consequently lost everything he had, his girlfriend left him, his family disowned him, his cricket club no longer welcomed him, and so on. He sat in an office with a trusted friend and church leader sulking about his current station.
After he finished spelling out his struggles, this friend asked, “If this has cost you so much, why don’t you leave the Church and go back to your father’s home and to your cricket club and to the job that meant so much to you and to the girl you think you love?” The man sat and sobbed, heavily contemplating the question.
His response is something I will never forget! He said, “I couldn’t do that. I know this is true, and if it were to cost me my life, I could never give it up.” The story continues, “He picked up his wet cap and walked to the door and out into the rain, alone and trembling and fearful, but resolute.”
Knowing we are truly blessed starts by remembering the truths we can’t deny.
This kind of story inspires a change in mindset. Did his problems disappear? No. Instead, they opened a door to the thought: At least I’ve still got this. With everything we have lost, the pain we have been weighed to endure, the ache that sees no end we can have this – “this” meaning an unfailing commitment to the things we know to be true.
The truth that got me through my darkest days was this:
Because I am a daughter of God, I am never alone and always worth loving.
Finding hope in the darkest of times is one of the biggest challenges I’ve ever faced. The truth I leaned on didn’t make it so I didn’t need the help and support of others or that my problems went away without a mighty battle. It simply meant that I had something to hold onto while life tried to blow me away.
So, my friends who have the same question that was asked here today, please don’t give up; an end to the struggles will come. Let’s hold onto the blessing of truths that can empower us to keep moving forward; for those nuggets of truth might just be the exact blessings we need to get through our difficult times.
Here’s to remembering our certainty & fighting to see a blessed day!
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